Waiting in Expectation

Confessions of A Mother's Heart

It’s been about 5 months since I have last written to you, so I thought I would throw you a line to get you all up to date on how one of my “2017 Resolutions” we’re doing.

Since May, my three daughters have all turned their next ages, 10, 12 and 15!  We’ve experienced more ups and downs, but are stronger for them.  I have also been busily at work building up the TLC Squared Ministries Team (Sewing and Advisory Teams mostly) and helping my husband raise our children through home schooling!

I’ve been waiting in expectation of what God first conceived in my heart while in California, when my kids were little, but especially more recently while residing in New Jersey.

What you are about to read is just one of the platforms on which this new Colorado Nonprofit is founded on, but a very powerful one…

“For the…

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Waiting in Expectation

It’s been about 5 months since I have last written to you, so I thought I would throw you a line to get you all up to date on how one of my “2017 Resolutions” we’re doing.

Since May, my three daughters have all turned their next ages, 10, 12 and 15!  We’ve experienced more ups and downs, but are stronger for them.  I have also been busily at work building up the TLC Squared Ministries Team (Sewing and Advisory Teams mostly) and helping my husband raise our children through home schooling!

I’ve been waiting in expectation of what God first conceived in my heart while in California, when my kids were little, but especially more recently while residing in New Jersey.

What you are about to read is just one of the platforms on which this new Colorado Nonprofit is founded on, but a very powerful one…

“For the last 8 years my husband and I have tried to have a fourth child, off and on.  After about 2 years, I think, I just gave up. It was too disappointing to check myself each month to see if I was ovulating or not and then waiting every month, only to be let down.  I was also experiencing symptoms of postpartum, but didn’t want to deal with it because I was ashamed.

About 6 months after I had my third daughter I began experiencing severe mood swings.  I would go from being perfectly content, even laughing, to crying for the smallest thing.  I would also experience moments of rage where I would blow up at my children when they didn’t listen to me and do what I asked of them several times.

When my husband would come home from work, usually after the girls and I had already eaten dinner, I would confess to him what had happened.  I went as far as to have suicidal thoughts, and worse than that, of possibly taking my children’s lives.  I knew that was not good, but felt out of control.

If I didn’t change soon, I could’ve been one of those cases of “mom drowns her kids in the bathtub” on the local evening news.  I was desperate to get help, but was afraid to tell anyone else, other than my husband.

I finally cried out to God and he sent a Godly woman that would watch my girls just so I could go out by myself and collect my thoughts, and get some exercise, which I knew I needed in order to start my recovery process.  Because of my mental and physical state, I had asked God to not let me get pregnant again, if I was going to feel like I was going to lose my mind and possibly hurt myself or my three girls. 

So, my guess has been that the reason why we haven’t had another child of our own, since then is because that might have just happened.  I’ve always believed that.  But, I have hope that it might not be the case because if we do ever, by some miracle, have another child, I will trust God to get me through whatever comes my way.
After diagnosing myself and confirming with my doctor, I realized I was experiencing a severe case of Postpartum Depression.”  

To read the rest of the story click here!  But before you do that, please continue below to read about the new ministry!

Even though we have not had a fourth child, God is allowing my husband and I to birth a new kind of life, a family based ministry, TLC Squared.

At TLC Squared we endeavor to strengthen families by sharing The Love of Christ through: Teaching, Loving and Connecting .

We are in the infancy stages, but growing steadily, with the Lords direction and other faithful and passionate volunteers to support this ministry.

We already have a sewing team of 12 women to sew bibs and burp cloths for the Home Care Kits and an Advisory team to help make the vision move ahead.

My husband and I are working with several leaders in our home church and community to reach families with a message of hope, starting in the Denver, Colorado area.

In the next 3 months I hope to give you more opportunities to come along side of this new, but needed home based family ministry and tell you more about how close TLC Squared is to launching the following Ministries: Confessions of a Mother’s Heart and Home Care Kits in Fall of 2018.  In the meantime, you can read more about it here!

For now, there are at least two planned fundraisers;  One for this coming October in California and another for the Spring of 2018 in Colorado!

How can you help?

Glad you asked!

We would love it if you would seriously consider how much you can give to TLC Squared to help build a seed fund and grow the ministry! No amount is too small!

TLC Squared Ministries is receiving Tax deductible donations in partnership through the Association of Christian Nonprofits.  To learn more about them click here !

Please don’t hesitate to ask any questions!

Are you ready to be a part of this ministry?  Join us!!

Waiting in Expectation,
Socorro

 

Mindfulness

Have you heard of “mindfulness”? 

I was first introduced to the concept of mindfulness last year (2016) in New Jersey.  It was a part of a series of personal phone coaching sessions required by our health insurance, through Troy’s company, in order to receive a special discount.

Last year around the same time in the spring I was experiencing the physical ramifications of spiritual and emotional turmoil as a result of sin in my life.  It wasn’t a coincidence to me that while this coaching session was meant to make me mindful of my food choices and eating habits, God was using it to make me more aware of my spiritual temperature and spiritual habits.

Here are my notes on the Mindfulness Coaching Session:

Goal: To make healthy eating choices and give us all the nutrients we need to repair our body and restore it (www.choosemyplate.gov)

  1. Being Mindful” – It’s thinking about what you’re doing versus mindless (becoming self-aware).
  • Have “healthy choices” readily available
  • Don’t bring unhealthy choices into your home
  • Have other alternatives, which are not as bad, then eliminate those eventually.
  • Discussed food groups: Bake or Broil, or BBQ your meat to allow fat to drip off.
  1. Create a home exercise plan
    • Think about activity you’re doing and how many minutes it takes to do those things.
  2. Moment to pause – To become aware of your “breathing”; helps your mind to be in tune to what your body is doing.
    • Be mindful” of the whole foods versus processed food you eat.

Writing the notes I started realizing what God was speaking to me personally.  Just as I was told to take in more whole physical foods, I came to the conclusion I needed to spend even more time in the pure Word of God, instead of participating in mostly topical bible studies.

These are some of the questions that I began to ask myself:

  1. Am I spending time in “quiet” time to focus on breathing deeply, listening to the “breath” or Spirit of God?

 

  1. Am I in tune with God’s Spirit as much as I am “tuned in” to the physical world?

 

  1. What one thing can I do today to be more spiritually in tune with God?

 

I told myself, “Work on at least one new thing a week until you are fully aware of your need for, not only physical food, but the Word of God to feed your soul!

I ended my notes by writing, “Here we are as Americans focusing on what we eat physically.  But, are we as Christians, which we should focus on being first, being more mindful of what we our spiritual diet actually is?”

(End of notes)

It was easy to admit that my dietary choices weren’t always the best, but it was eye opening to apply the Mindfulness principle to what God was convicting me about.  It made me more aware of how much God loves me.

If I hadn’t taken the time to listen to God’s voice in the midst of this mundane and required coaching session for my physical well-being, I might have missed what He had for me to “digest” and get nutrition for my soul, which will last longer than my physical body.

Today, as I write this and share my heart with you, it’s my desire that you too will take a moment to be mindful of what God is speaking into your heart.  While driving to and from your home or playing at the park, be mindful!

Sunrise Driving Pic 5-9-17 Blog

I had a very rough month since I wrote to you last.  You will hear more about it as the wounds heal and as people are ready to share.  In the meantime I wanted to give you something to chew on (pun intended!) so that you, like me, may have the courage to share hard things with others when it is more difficult.  What draws others to God in us is not the accusatory remarks, but the extended arms of love and acceptance. God draws people to himself through the sacrifice of His Son, Jesus, dying on the cross for us.

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me’.” (2 Corinthians 12:9, NIV)

 

It is my hope that you may see God in my family and me, not because it sometimes looks like we may have any “easy” life, but because in the midst of our struggles we hang on to God with all our strength.  This is the time to be mindful of the promises of God.

So whatever you are going through right now, devastating news of a loved one with cancer, shocking news of abuse in the family, or the unexpected divorce of an unexpected couple, hang on to God’s promises because they will never let you down!

Yale Tree Pic 5-9-17 Blog

When life gives you manure and dirt, give it back to God so he may place it in the garden of your heart’s home, where through the breath of His spirit, you may experience true life, and grow deep and rooted in His love, and eventually bear the fruit of His love for you and your love for others.

Being mindful of God’s truth’s,

Socorro Gill

http://www.socorrogill.com

After the Fall and Winter…Spring!

I just love this time of year.  Dormant things are coming back to life!  What once was asleep is returning to its glory.

Have you ever thought about what makes spring so new and beautiful?

Back in the fall of 2016 my daughters and I planted tulips and other bulbs in our front yard, in the hopes that by some miracle we would see the green sprouts, then the colorful blooms.  We put in almost a full day’s labor in the fall just to be able to enjoy the newness of spring and put winter behind us.

Winter is not my favorite time of year!   But, without it, there would be no spring.

What makes spring so beautiful for me is that I get to go for walks without the freezing effect of winter.  The sun is higher in the sky, so the sunrise is even more vivid; full of pinks, purples and whites, if the clouds are just right.  The days are warmer, but the nights are still cool, in anticipation of the soon to arrive summer heat.  All in all, it’s a time of year in which many people, especially I, look forward to.

Spring in New Jersey is similar to spring in Colorado in that to grow luscious and healthy plants you need good, rich soil.  The soil has to be full of nutrients to feed the plant that has sprouted from the seed that was just planted or the dormant plant is returning to life.  Of course you also need a healthy amount of water and many sunny days.

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On my regular winter morning walks in New Jersey I saw a particular pile of compost along the side of the person’s home in my neighborhood that started as dead leaves, mixed with other debris and natural materials.  I saw it day after day, just sitting there doing nothing but decomposing.  It was started in the fall, using fallen leaves.  But in the spring the pile was not just fallen leaves, it was mixed with water from the winter snow and early spring rains, and debris from the surrounding neighborhood.  In the spring I walked by the same pile and sometimes I would see steam coming off of it, until the pile eventually looked ready to be used as compost for spring gardening.  I imagined it was going to be the beginning of some of their best soil to use for growing a garden.

Watching the process of my neighbor’s compost pile reminded me of how God can use our fallen and troubling times to build a better relationship with us, and to help others see hope during difficult seasons of life.  If we give our troubles and worries to God, He can compost them and add it to the soil of our hearts, so He may plant seeds to grow a great spiritual harvest.

The once dark times in a person’s life can be the very fuel that builds in them the strength and desire to move into a more fulfilling, rooted and anchored chapter in their lives.  It can lead them to walk to a “springboard” by which to take the leap of faith that God has wanted them to jump off of, so He could catch them!

Living in New Jersey for about 16 months was the place God led me to move further on the springboard that I had been climbing on and off of without jumping.

As recently as the spring of 2015 I took a significant leap by setting up a website to encourage women, especially moms (www.socorrogill.com). Even before that I was led to create a website to minister to my relatives, along with a newsletter, laying out the Gospel (I let it go and lost it).  It was during the time between the creations of the two websites that I was going through a time of producing my “compost”.  That in turn has been fueling me for what I did in 2015 and very soon to enable my family and I to grow our ministry to families in the Church and outside of it.

3-12-2016 pic for 3-22 Blog post

God has been allowing me to see what my “compost” was since I gave my life to Him.  But, I couldn’t do anything with it on my own.  I needed and will always need Him to give me good seeds to plant in the mixed soil of my heart.  I will always need His spirit to breathe life into my messes and stir things up, so they may move me into the place He wants me.  By the same power, His Spirit, like a spring rain, waters my soul to allow for the sprouting of the seed, which is the Living Word of God, to produce good fruit for others to take and see that the Lord is good.  If I give my troubles to Him, He will always make good compost for the soil, and the seeds He plants will bear fruit and accomplish what He wants in my life.

“As the rain and the snow
    come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
    without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
    so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
    It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire

    and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” Isaiah 55:10-11

5-13-16 Mt Vernon pic for 3-22-17 post

As soon as the new ministry website is ready for the non-profit organization that God has allowed my husband and me to create, I will post the link.  Our hope and challenge to everyone reading this is that it will encourage you to give your “compost” to God.  If you’re willing to die to yourself, as a seed has to do in order to be born again, you too can see what beautiful blooms God will produce in and through you for His Kingdom.

“Seek the Lord while he may be found;
    call on him while he is near.
Let the wicked forsake their ways
    and the unrighteous their thoughts.
Let them turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on them,

    and to our God, for he will freely pardon.” Isaiah 55:6-7

 

Seeking the Lord,

Socorro Gill

2017 Resolutions

March 6, 2017

So much has happened in the last two months.  I made a few resolutions that I want to update you on, share an “oops” moment, and finally tell you about a very exciting development in my family’s life, which was one of our resolutions!

The first resolution for this year was to continue having my monthly gatherings in my home.

So, in January I restarted the Ladies/Mom Time-Out as planned.  Eleven of us have gathered in my home each month to reevaluate our lives by learning from Sally Clarkson’s experiences.  We’ve met and read up to chapter 5 of “Own Your Life”.  We are trying to reset our priorities by writing them down and committing to make positive changes in our lives.  For me, that means letting some things go and keeping the quality activities that build the right relationships and glorify God.

As a result of applying one of the main messages of Sally Clarkson’s book, I have been encouraged and able to make a point of writing things down so I can look back and see if I have been able to stay focused on supporting my husband with what he needs at home; if he has clean and ironed clothes, when necessary; if I make myself available to speak with him and let him know how the girls and I are doing; if I also ask how he’s doing; and if I was finally going to take the next leap of faith and start the non-profit organization that has been on my husband’s and my heart for the past 10+  years.

Half the battle of accomplishing anything is writing things down.  As a result of that, I’ve been able to continue giving our three girls what they need, not want, for their physical well-being (relatively nutritious food), mind (home education) and spirit (teaching them to love the Word of God).

In the midst of all that comes with daily life, I have been experiencing an uncomfortable amount of anxiety and doubt.  My most common phrase, recently, has been, “I just want to go to sleep!”

I have become exhausted!  No wonder!  There has been a lot of illness and a little bit of injury.

Did I mention that 4 of the 5 of us in my family we were sick with the flu or a very serious cold since about the second week of January?

Here’s the big “oops” I wanted to mention…

On Valentine’s Day, while 4 of us were still recovering, my daughter Abigail (she didn’t get the nasty flu/cold bug) fell and fractured her right ankle, through her growth plate!  Ouch!  To make things worse, I didn’t’ realize how bad it was, even though she cried more than usual.  I didn’t take her in until the next day to see her doctor.  Oops!

I felt so bad!   My daughter gets to be in a cast for about 3 more weeks, but then gets a walking boot until she heals completely.  Despite the setback in becoming a better skater she is doing as well as can be expected.

What’s next for our family?  Only God knows for certain.

The exciting development in our family is….

We have moved forward with the non-profit organization my husband and I have prayed about a lot.  As far as it goes, we are in the process of building a Family Education/Mentoring and Discipleship Ministry.    You can visit the website to learn more about in a couple of weeks.  It’s still in the beginning stages at this time, but I will keep you posted.  As soon as it’s further along you’ll hear all about it.

SO, stay tuned!

In the next few months I will also be giving you updates and opportunities to get involved if you’re interested, as the Lord leads you.

How have you been?

Has your family been affected by the flu/cold outburst?

By injury?

Are you feeling exhausted or overwhelmed?

How will you get through it all?

Try going to God, as my family and I are doing, daily.

Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28-29 NIV)

Has anything I have said resonated with you?  Let me know!  I would like to know that I am not alone.

Finding rest in Christ alone,

Socorro Gill

Making a Space and Place for God in 2017

When the New Year comes around many of us take time to reflect on the previous year and decide to make some much needed changes.  Magazines, internet articles and people around the world are notorious for talking about, giving tips, and looking into how to lose weight, eat healthier or make positive changes for the New Year.  People make lists of what to do and not do in order to bring more balance to their lives.

I am one of those people who like to do that.  Starting a new year gives me the sense that there is hope for doing better in all areas of my life.

monthly-caldendar-pic

So, this year I am making lists and praying about God’s will for my life in light of what He has inspired me to do, to love Him and love others.

   What am I doing to help me stay more organized this year?

  • I’m implementing a daily planner and monthly wall calendar to help keep me motivated to accomplish my goals. I can use all the external motivation I can get when the internal motivation is low.
  • I’m committing to talking to God first thing in the morning and the evening before bedtime, and prayer journaling. Prayer journaling helps keep me accountable to God and myself.
  • Finally, I’m hosting a once a month book study by Sally Clarkson, “Own Your Life”, in my home for women. It’s about taking responsibility for your actions and finding beauty in the brokenness of life.

You can find Sally Clarkson’s books on www.amazon.com and www.sallyclarkson.com.

To find out about my “Ladies Time-Out” events, you can go to my website at www.socorrogill.com.

Just before 2016 ended my family and I had a chance to get rid of our old drafty home windows.  They were replaced with new, energy efficient ones.  Hopefully, we will stay warmer this winter and cooler in the coming summer months.

All of the preparations to get the new windows caused me to have to make a space for the workers to work, to remove and install the updated ones.

I wasn’t sure what I was going to write about this New Year, or even when I was going to have time write.  But, as I was reflecting on what we had just done to make our home a better place and then sitting down to read my lesson for the Community Bible Study group that I’m in, I was inspired!

In the Old Testament, before Jesus came in the flesh to take our place as the perfect atonement for our sins, the Jewish people had to make a “space and place” for God to dwell in the Holy Tabernacle. (Exodus 39:32-43)

Before the priests could intercede for the sins of the people, God instructed the Israelites to build a place for Him.  He made it possible for them to meet with him, through the priest, to commune with them.

In the New Testament, the Gospel or Good News, we don’t have to take sacrifices to a physical place in order to have our sins forgiven and meet with God!

“Under the old covenant, the priest stands before the altar day after day, offering sacrifices that can never take away sins.  But our High Priest offered himself to God as one sacrifice for sins, good for all time.  Then he sat down at the place of highest honor at God’s right hand”. (Hebrews 10:11-12, NLT)

We can go boldly before the throne of God, if we put our trust in what Jesus did for us on the cross at Calvary.

“And so, dear brothers and sisters, we can boldly enter heaven’s Most Holy Place because of the blood of Jesus.  This is the new life-giving way that Christ has opened up for us through the sacred curtain, by means of his death for us.” (Hebrews 10:19-20)

After going over my lesson and thinking about the events of last year I was reminded about drawing near to God.

“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you”. (James 4:8)

This year, more than ever, I want to make more space in my heart and home to maintain a holy place for God to meet with me;

A place where I can close my eyes, yet see God at work in and around me;

A place where I can sit in silence, but hear His voice and know that He is near to me. 

Finally, I want to create a place where I can meet with God and confess my daily and even annual struggles, frustrations, and the many joys of living in this world.

“Let there be tears for the wrong things you have done.  Let there be sorrow and deep grief.  Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy.  When you bow down before the Lord and admit your dependence on him, he will lift you up and give you honor.” (James 4:9-10)

I pray that this year you seek to know the one who created you.  You don’t have to have all your “ducks” in order or be perfect to come near to him, just approach him with a repentant and contrite spirit.  If you do that, He promises to give you new courage and refresh you!

The Old Testament says, “The high and lofty one who inhabits eternity, the Holy One says this: ‘I live in that high and holy place with those whose spirits are contrite and humble.  I refresh the humble and give new courage to those with repentant hearts’.” (Isaiah 57:15)

What do you need to do to make a space and place for God to work in your life this year?

Draw near to God,

Socorro Gill

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Grateful for “Mars Needs Moms” Disney Movie and the Love of God

In September and October of this year I hosted two Dinner and Movie Nights for moms.  We got together to watch Disney’s “Mars Needs Moms” over dinner and dessert!   We had great discussions about what it means to be a “Mars” kind of mom.  We also talked about what kind of mom God needs to raise the children He has entrusted us with.

This is going to be a little bit of a movie review, but without all the details, just the main points I want to highlight to get my point across.

In the beginning of the movie we see two Martians, in outer space, searching the earth for moms who can keep their children in order and can get them to do what they’ve asked them to.  When the right one is detected, by observing her interaction with her son, she is swept away in the middle of the night and taken to Mars by space travel.

Just before “The Mom” is taken however, we get an inside look at one night in the life of this family and are left with an unresolved issue that becomes the plot of the movie.  Milo needs to apologize to his mom and be reconciled back to her, but it will take an out of this world feat to accomplish.

In an effort to get her son, Milo, to eat his dinner, his mom tells him if he wants to have T.V. time, he must eat all his vegetables.  Milo pretends to eat his broccoli, but instead he gives it to his cat.  But, later the cat vomits the food and his mom finds out.  So, he gets sent off to bed, which leads to a big argument and some not so nice words are exchanged.  After not being able to get to sleep Milo decides to say sorry to his mom, but instead of doing that he gets to see his mom taken away by a mysterious force.

Milo runs after her and tries to stop the Martian ship from taking her, but he gets caught on one of the ship’s feet and is pulled in instead.

Upon arrival to Mars, Milo meets another young man who had a similar experience as him and they go on a dangerous, but successful journey to rescue Milo’s mother from a fatal experience.

In the meantime, the “Supervisor’s” assistant is drawn in by the boy’s rescue attempts.  Her name is “Key”, which is short for her real Martian name.  An interesting twist in the movie is that Key questions why the boys want to rescue Milo’s mom.  She soon finds out.

In an exchange of words and crossing of paths, Milo shares with Key that he needs to rescue his mom, who “gives him hugs, takes care of him, and ‘loves’ him”.  Through some research that Key does, she discovers what this “Crazy Love thing” is from the boys and by uncovering some ancient ruins in her Martian City.

The whole reason that the Supervisor abducted Milo’s mom was to try to take all of her memories and input them all into the “Nanny-bots”, nanny robots that raise the Martian baby hatchlings.  But, when Key discovers a carved image of a mom, dad and baby she comes to realize that the Supervisor was lying to all the Martians.  They had believed a lie that it took Nanny-bots to raise the babies of every generation, which happened every 25 years.

One thing the Supervisor said, when confronted with this truth, was that she needed “order” and the boys only wanted to “play” and basically wasted their time.  So, in an effort to raise babies more efficiently and populate the planet her answer was to only raise the baby girl Martians, by using programmed robots, and dumping the boy hatchlings into the trash, because they were useless to her.

By the end of the movie it is clear that it takes sacrificial love to raise a family.  You must have both the mom and dad’s combined effort to raise a healthy family.  It takes the crazy kind of love that comes from an orderly parent, in the movie’s case, a mom, a playful fatherly figure, as portrayed by the males, and finally the ultimate sacrifice of one’s life This movie also highlights that sometimes our children need to go through hard times to truly appreciate the love of a parent, his mom.

“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”  John 15:3 NIV

As I write this I don’t feel like the kind of mom that God wants, but does need.  As a matter of fact, I feel very inadequate and like a failure more times than I do victorious.  That is the truth of how I “feel”, but not God’s truth.  When my girls hesitate to follow my orderly directions or talk back, it’s tempting to let them have their way.  But, I know that if I don’t put my foot down, so to speak, they will run all over me and also suffer themselves, in the long run.

Whoever spares the rod hates their children,
    but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.” Proverbs 13:24

Despite my feelings however, God calls me to love my children with God’s love and to be an example for them to follow.  Despite my weaknesses He has still called me, so I must take courage in that He knows what He is doing in continuing to let me be their mother.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” 1 Corinthians 13:4

When Paul the apostle asked God to take away the thorn in his flesh, which God meant to keep him from becoming conceited (2 Cor. 12:7) God answered him this:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

I’m not saying that my children are a thorn in the flesh, but sometimes it feels that way.  During the season of Thanksgiving I am reminded to be grateful that He chose to give my husband and me three beautiful girls who are growing up to be better women than me, in many ways.  But, I pray He helps me even more through the pre-teen and teen years of their lives because they are very difficult for me, especially while I go through premenopausal life changes.

If you want to raise the family that God has given you, you must first accept the love that He has for you.  You have heard this before, I’m sure.  You cannot give your children something that you don’t haveSo, pray and ask God to pour His love into your spirit so that you may be able to love your children like he has shown you, a sacrificial kind of love.

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. 17 If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? 18 Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” 1 John 3:16-17

Grateful,

Socorro Gill

“Perfect Love casts out Fear” — Confessions of A Mother’s Heart

I’m thankful for all my family and friends! Thank you to you who follow our lives and know us personally! I hope you know that what I write about is close to my heart. Some things are very easy to say, but others are not. And, I say them anyway. I want everyone who reads […]

via “Perfect Love casts out Fear” — Confessions of A Mother’s Heart

“Perfect Love casts out Fear”

I’m thankful for all my family and friends!  Thank you to you who follow our lives and know us personally!  I hope you know that what I write about is close to my heart.  Some things are very easy to say, but others are not.  And, I say them anyway.  I want everyone who reads these blogs to know that “we will have trials in this life, but Jesus has already overcome the world” and we can find courage in knowing Him, the one true God.

What I am sharing today is not pretty but a reality that many women live with.  FEAR.

Fear is a driving force that can keep us from harm, in the case of a fire in a home or another natural disaster.  Other times fear keeps us from doing God’s will in our lives.

Fear of what other people will think, say or do has kept me from doing certain things sometimes.  Fear has also kept my family and I safe from a fire in our California home.  We ran from it to safety as soon as we knew we were in danger.

Both types of fears are necessary, but not at all times.  Living in constant fear is not healthy at all.  I have personally experienced panic attacks as a result of living in fear of known’s and unknowns.

Many times in my life I have made decisions based on fear instead of love.  Today I realized that I had an irrational fear.  It was not based on love, but fear of rejection.  I know in my heart that it is a trap to fear what people think of me.  So, I am able to make many choices most people would hesitate to make or not even consider.

I love having people over to our house for food and fellowship, as a family.  I enjoy mentoring and encouraging women, especially young moms in their mothering and sharing how to love their husband and children.  I’m not afraid to share my failures especially if it helps others learn from my mistakes and as a result helps deter them from making bad choices.  All of this doesn’t scare me much, just a little.  But, I invite people anyway, even if they do not always accept the invitation.

Most people are afraid of rejection, so they either hesitate or don’t ever invite people over for coffee or a meal, for the above mentioned reasons.

When I am afraid of someone or something my emotions tend to follow in action or inaction, especially during a particular and very vulnerable time of the month.   Regardless of when I feel afraid, I make a mental note and take my fears to God in prayer.  Sometimes I also talk to someone like my husband  or another close friend about it.

Recently though, I was feeling very emotional and vulnerable, but was “afraid” to share with my husband my thoughts because I was afraid of what he would think or how he would react.

When I realized that I was afraid of what my own husband would think or say it surprised even me.  I was pretty sure, in my spirit, up until now, that I feared God more than man.  That’s is how I have learned to live my life, as a wife and mother.  I married my husband for love, not fear!

After struggling with a wave of emotions and thoughts about this situation I came to realize that I was letting my fears keep me from communicating some things with my husband.  Fear was my driving force, not love.  But, I love him very much and respect his opinion.  Sometimes, however, I don’t always agree with him, and vice versa.  My fear of my husband was keeping me from being truthful, which I do not want to happen.

A red flag was raised in my heart today.  I was reverting back to the beginning of our married life and holding things back.  It is partly because we have been so busy settling back in to our old home and partly because my husband has not been present as much either.  He has had to go back to New Jersey quite a bit and hasn’t been available to talk in person.  Not being able to speak to him in person for the last few months, since we’ve been back, and having so many changes come up in our home has lead to me feeling distanced from him.

But, If I start to be afraid to share with my own husband what’s in my heart, because I am scared of what he’ll think, then I need to go to God first.  I need to ask him for the courage to say what I want to say, but not while I am emotional because that will only make me be misunderstood.  Once I am more emotionally stable, and have spoken to God about my “feelings” then, I can be prepared to live in love with my husband, and not live in fear.

In the almost 19 years of marriage with Troy I have noticed a pattern.  If I am “feeling” like I can’t talk to Troy about something, then the lines of communication will be closed, and a big wedge will get between us, leading to a downward spiral of disappointments.  But, if I fess up to God first, to get the courage to speak with him, and then tell Troy, then at least we can work things out.  I know I cannot let that happen if I want to “Fear God, not man” and grow more in love with him while strengthening our family bond.

God is the only one I will have to answer to when I leave this body, not anyone one else.   And, while we are on earth, we need to “love our neighbor as our self”, which includes family.

I am so grateful that God showed me this today.  No matter how I “think” my husband will react or what he will say I need to be truthful with my husband and real with God.  I need to “love” my husband as God loves me!

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18 NIV

As a parent, If I want to make a positive difference, then I must take “courage” in God and not lose heart, so hopefully my children will follow my example, as we are to follow Christ’s exemplary life.

As a wife, I need to honor and respect my husband enough to let him know what’s on my heart, with God’s love.

Finally, as a sister-in-Christ, I pray with other ladies for their husbands to lead in their families and follow the one true God.

What are you afraid of today that is keeping you from God’s perfect love?

Live in God’s Perfect Love,

Socorro Gill

http://www.socorrogill.com

P.S. Look for upcoming dates to “Pray for our husband and children” Tea Times on my website, starting January 2017 or before!

Refer to my previous blogs on “Building My House” parts 1 through 3 starting here: https://4gillgirl.wordpress.com/2016/01/