Building My House – Part 1

Last week I started the first of five sessions of my monthly gatherings with moms that will focus on proactively and at times reactively, praying for our husbands.  With this, comes a dilemma.

How much do I share with them or with you about my husband and my “marital issues”? 

During our “Mom Time-Out” fellowship the goal in praying for our husband is to effectively be the “help meet” that God intended us to be.  It’s to examine ourselves and to ask God to reveal what we can do to better show love and respect to our spouse and either repent of our sin and/or make changes for the better.  It’s not to tear our husband down or build up our “pity biscuit” jar (to eat them) and give-in to the lie that we don’t have a choice in our reaction, therefore making us victims instead of victors.

I have learned that it’s best to first talk to the One that holds my husband’s life in his hands and trust Him to bring BOTH of us into alignment with His will, as well as convict us of our present, sin so we may repent and be restored back to God and our spouse, if necessary.

When I ask anyone to pray for my husband to (insert “very personal problem” here), I place my husband in a compromised position.  As a result of doing so, I invite a possible disaster into my home by tearing my house down with my own hands and I show my husband disrespect.  Not only will my husband sense this, but others will too.  Every time your friends or family see him, they will see him in light of what you’ve shown them and that’s not right in God’s eyes or fair, because you probably haven’t confessed all your sin also. “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” (Proverbs 14:1)

Proverbs 31:11 says, “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.” If you consistently and unconfidently share too much information with others, you may tear your marriage apart.

Dilemma Solved!

Once I go to God first, either during my quiet moments before the kids wake up, in the midst of my mundane tasks or when the house is quiet in the middle of the night, then I can ask my trusted friends for general prayer when the opportunity presents itself.  For example, ask them to pray “that God would lead my husband and that I would follow him by faith”.  When your husband needs prayer for health or other non-intimate issues, you can feel more comfortable in sharing, but do so in  God’s love.

I am not a licensed professional counselor, but if you ever find yourself in an unsafe situation, physically, in your marriage, please seek help immediately, and after, continue praying for wisdom, discernment and restoration.

Stay tuned for “Building my House” Part 2

Lord willing I will share more biblical and personal insights on how to “build your house” with you next week or two. Soli Deo Gloria!

Your Sister-in-Christ,

Socorro Gill

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10 Month Gill Family Update

It has been exactly 10 months since our family moved to New Jersey from Colorado.

Just last December Troy and I were praying about this opportunity and couldn’t have imagined we would’ve of been able to travel to the East Coast and see so many historical sites, but God made a way!

Since our arrival here we have not only experienced great short term family vacations to places like:

  • Washington, D.C
  • Williamsburg, PA
  • Statue of Liberty
  • Staten Island
  • Ellis Island
  • Valley Forge (where George Washington had the Continental Army camp for the winter), PA
  • Manhattan, NY
  • New York City, NY (Visited St. Patrick’s Cathedral, Times Square, et al)
  • Thomas Edison Museum in Edison, NJ
  • And a number of other local museums and places that are less significant, but none the less memorable

We have also experienced the mundane and not so mundane ups and downs of life like:

  • Ticks (THEY’RE EVERYWHERE in our back and front yard!)
  • Unknown, but significant bug bites requiring antibiotics to treat (TWICE on the same child!)
  • Inexplicable aches and pains requiring significantly costly medical tests
  • Physical therapy for those pains that we could pin point
  • Emotional heartache of different sorts
  • Spiritual attacks
  • Car breakdowns, etc.

Basically, we have definitely had a memorable year and God has gotten us through it all!!!

We could not be out here without God’s guiding hand and wisdom in decision making and from the support of our Colorado church family and local church home.

One of the outlets that has helped me cope with the downs of the last year has been getting to sing in the worship and praise team at the church we are part of right now.  I’m grateful they have a small team, so I had a better chance of being accepted AND that I blend with the team they already have.  As some of you know, worship teams can be a little fickle.  You have to have the right kind of people that are able to sing more than one part and work well together.

I’m going on a lot about this, like I said, because it has been my saving grace.  So, a big “Thank You!” goes out to the worship leader (Derrick) of the Basking Ridge church of Somerset Hills (www.somersethillsbaptist.org) for allowing me to be a part of their team even though I am not going to stay much longer than June/July/August, depending on my husband’s job.

Another outlet that has helped me cope has been meeting with strong women of faith in my home for my monthly “Mom Time-Outs”.  The group hasn’t been as big as I had hoped, but it has been very, very rewarding!

Also, spending Thanksgiving with Troy’s longtime college friend’s family and getting to know them has been huge.  We really didn’t know anyone out here except them.  Everyone else we have spent time with has been as a result of us reaching out into the community and being intentional about getting to know them.

The girls and I have been very active in helping out at a local food bank in Somerville, NJ (www.feedinghandspantry.org) that started a little over a year ago.  That has made me feel more at “home” and like I am plugged into my community and less of an outsider.  If you ever find yourself in a situation like my family and get to live somewhere else for a short period, I recommend getting involved as soon as possible if you don’t want to feel alone and out of place.

I have gotten home sick for Colorado, but it’s been endurable because we have made friends and family (church mostly) in our community and have tried to make a positive difference wherever we have been.

My goal for the next 6 to 8 months on this blog is to continue giving you updates on our stay in New Jersey and to also post my insights for living with and loving your husband and family God’s way, along with some fun family happenings with food / recipes.

Until next time!

In the trenches of life with you,

Socorro Gill

P.S. Let me know how you are doing, especially if you are going to be out in my area before we head back to CO.