So, at the beginning of this 3 part series I gave each mom, of the monthly gatherings in my home, a blank journal to use, if they wanted one, to write down general prayers to pray for each other’s husband and specific prayers for our own. I encouraged each one of us to write them down and bring our journals each month, not to read from each other’s, but to be held accountable and stay intentional about prayer.
We talked about the importance of submitting to our husbands in everything. As ridiculous as it sounds in our day and age, it is biblically sound and practical advice. The only time the bible tells us to not submit is when our spouse asks us to agree with them in sin. See chapter 5 in the book of Acts in the New Testament of the bible. It talks about a married couple in the church that agrees to conceal a truth and God dealt with them severely, I believe to show that the Church family should be open and honest especially with each other.
For the last session of the “Building My House Series” I will be talking about learning to pray for our husband when we are tempted to complain about them instead.
Through the grace of God and a God fearing woman’s book, I learned early in my marriage that instead of complaining to my husband, about what he doesn’t do right or just doesn’t do something I “expect” him to do, I should use those complaints as opportunities to “love” my husband. That’s not to say that I still don’t or won’t ever do that; I’m human and prone to error. But, if we want to mend or grow a healthy marriage and be more Christ-like then we should do as Jesus does. That’s what Jesus did for us when He laid down His life for us, even though we don’t deserve it, either. He loves us daily!
I have learned to hold my tongue and not speak in my anger (it’s a work in progress). “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh one stirs it up” (Proverbs 15:1). When I have felt very strong about giving my husband “a piece of my mind” I am able to resist that temptation by giving myself first, and then him, space and time, by replying in a soft answer and respectfully agree to disagree until both of us can talk without being overwhelmingly emotional.
Although Troy has never really told me specifically, the following verse has gotten both of us through some rough times. It comes to my mind when I am tempted to point fingers at him, or anyone, for that matter.
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8)
My husband does not define me, God does. However, God has designed me to be a help meet to my husband and honor and respect him, if they don’t go against God’s commands. I have God given qualities that my husband needs from me in order to complete him, but that doesn’t mean I have to feel like I am only made to “please” him.
As wives, we have the potential to bring life, law, order and beauty into the home in preparation for whatever He has for our marriage and ministry outside the home, if any. I believe marriage is a God ordained ministry for both husbands and wives to glorify God and draw people towards him by their unity.
It is up to a couple to work on their marriage together. But, it takes God to keep it healthy and vibrant. Is God the center of your marriage? If not, what are you waiting for?
Go to www.focusonthefamily.com for more resources to help strengthen your marriage and center it on Christ today!
In the trenches of married life with you,